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Women's Issues
 Most
women, as compared with most men, are
underprepared, undertrained and somewhat
inhibited in competitive situations. Until
fairly recently in our society, much of
women’s socialization, potential and
accomplishment was successfully kept under a
blanket, with a “glass ceiling” keeping them
from rising too far in too many venues. They
were expected to be nurses, teachers, social
workers, homemakers. They were not expected
to be heads of corporations or countries, or
chief decision-makers in a marriage. They
might be the power behind the throne, but
they rarely got to sit on the throne.
Today, females are becoming more active,
outgoing, responsible, and able to be
leaders in their own right.
New attitudes and behaviors are needed to
assess their positions vis-à-vis males. Do
they want to copy males? Best them? Compete
with them? And how do they develop their own
distinctive styles?
How do women communicate with men in a
straightforward way, without being accused
of being castrating, emasculating or
“unfeminine”? And how might women
communicate effectively with other women, be
they peers, authority figures, students,
daughters, mothers, lovers or friends? How
do they handle jealousy or envy? How do they
carve out a comfortable niche in the family
where they can both give and get in a
comfortable and safe way? How do they deal
with depression, anxiety, couples issues,
motherhood, single motherhood? What about
women who do not choose to have children or
mates?
We used to call some single women “spinsters”
and many looked down on single mothers. Can such
women who do not adopt familiar familial and
societal roles be accepted and admired? Can
they be positive role models for their
children?
Studies show that women are more adept than
men in picking up emotion-laden expressions
on the faces of others. How does it help or
hinder them to do so? What are the
relationship issues that are triggered by a
female partner “reading” a male partner’s
expression and the male partner denying the
feeling that is being expressed?
It has been said that a man’s greatest fear
in a relationship is of being “invaded”
while a female’s is being “evaded”. How can
any female in any couples relationship
express herself clearly and assertively
without being accused of being invasive? Can
a woman be angry without being accused of
trying to control or humiliate her partner?
Can she be depressed without her partner
feeling he is being manipulated into taking
care of her?
And what about caretaking? From caveman
times, women have been seen as the
nurturer/feeders while men were the
hunter/gatherers. How far have we come from
shedding these stereotypes and what are the
implications and prospects for a
relationship of true mutuality in our
modern-day world?
All these are questions that get raised by
women in my clinical practice, both in
individual and couples counseling. And they
are very important questions that need to be
addressed, looked at, evaluated, and
resolved in a way that is educational,
informative and healing.
I have helped many women to resolve all of
the issues mentioned here in a way that is
growth-inducing.
Many of them have written thank-you notes
years after we ended our therapy sessions, for
helping them to feel empowered and able to
control their own destinies, both as part of
a couple or family, and in their own right
as an autonomous adult. I would like the
opportunity to help you to feel more
effective and build self-esteem whether for
yourself, your marriage, your family or all
of the above.
Contact me for a consultation so that we
might begin addressing your feelings about
yourself as a female and explore how to be a
happier, more effective one.
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